Newsflash: I'm Stupid

Yesterday I was getting dolled up for my valentine when I thought "Golly, my pores sure are full of heinous particulates." Fortunately, I knew just who would have the solution: Pinterest! That site is all about collecting household remedies.

And, lo, did I find that 1 tbs sugar + 1 tbs baking soda + 1 tbs water + 20 minutes = clean face. So I decided to try it. Unfortunately, I can't go more than a few minutes without sticking things in my mouth, so while I'm mixing my bukkake facial (if you had seen it, you would know there's no other appropriate name for it; however, if you don't know what that means, don't Google it) and I absentmindedly taste it. Turns out baking soda tastes like gym mats--I spit it out. I needed to get the taste out of my mouth, so I grab a clementine orange and pop its naked flesh into my mouth.

Yeah. I ate citrus fruit right after putting baking soda in my mouth. Words cannot describe.

Anyway, twenty minutes later my face looked and felt amazing. Highly recommend will try again A++.