Sinning for Fun and Profit

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

I'm not much of bright lights and party person, but I do love Las Vegas. I think it's the night owl in (and on and over and around) me. No matter what time it is, there are people everywhere up and doing stuff!

If it wasn't yet obvious enough, I spent the weekend in Las Vegas. Since I have been there several times, I thought I would share what I have learned about the place so far.

Places to Stay
Stay on the Strip. Don't pull the "Oh, this one is a little off the Strip and so much cheaper! I'll just take a cab or walk!" That's poo. Stay on the Strip, preferably right in the middle. The best hotels with reasonable room rates are the Flamingo and the Monte Carlo. The former has, in my opinion, a nicer pool, but the later has a nicer everything else. has the best map of the Strip.

Also, call the front desk sometime the day before you leave and ask if they offer late checkout. Sometimes it's a few bucks, sometimes it's free. Being able to sleep in until noon after going to bed at 6:00am is much nicer than attempting to make a morning checkout time.

Places to Eat
Honestly, walk five feet and you'll find a good place to eat. The list of places not to eat would be shorter. I prefer to not plan where I'm going to eat ahead of time and just wander into the nearest food place when I'm hungry.

Things to Do
  1. Play blackjack. Do not check the time during play. Bask in the power of windowless, clockless caves of twinkling sounds when you realize that four hours have passed.
  2. Go see Showgirls of Magic. Pretty girl gets locked in a box, pops out topless! Abra cadabra!
  3. Order a margarita so big that it requires a shoulder strap.
  4. Watch people from more rural areas become distressed by the plight of the homeless.
  5. Play Who's Hotter War*.
  6. Yell "VEGAS!" for no apparent reason.
  7. High-five a stranger.
  8. Dance to music with such classy lyrics as "SHOT, SHOT, SHOT SHOT, SHOT!" or perhaps "drink-drink-drink, drink-drink-drink," or even "Have sex. Uh. Have sex. Uh. Have sex. Uh."
  9. Take photos of people passed out drunk in random places.
  10. Go out to eat shortly before sunrise. Fall asleep at the table.
  11. Debate about whether the growing number of people in your immediate area are still up for the night or just getting up for the morning.
♥ Bellagio Ceiling 
*Who's Hotter War Instructions
  1. When walking down the sidewalk, collect the prostitute trading cards being passed out by people I'm sure are totally in the country legally. Note: Picking up cards off the ground is uncouth behavior.
  2. Once you and an opponent have built up a deck, each flip over your top card. Whoever has the hotter hooker on their card wins both cards.
  3. In the event of a dispute, consult an unbiased third party. Should they declare it a tie, place three cards each face down, then one face up. Whoever's last card has the hottest hooker wins all of the cards on the table.
  4. Hooker cards with uncensored nipples automatically win.
I love Vegas. I love not sleeping ever.


Kate Weber said...

I love Vegas. My sister lives there, so I never have to pay for a hotel. Part of me is sad about that. Some of the hotels look so nice. It would be so fun to stay there. I lived with her for 6 weeks, and had a blast!

Rockin Rita said...

thanks for all these tips! :)

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