Booty Theory

Confession: I may or may not have some extra junk in my trunk. I'm working on it, okay? I've lost more than twenty pounds, and am thirteen pounds away from what Wii Fit says is my "ideal" weight. And I can run a mile without crying and praying for death. Sometimes.

So I have developed this theory. (Or, more accurately, a hypothesis, but I want to sound more credible so I'm going with theory.) Basically, this theory is that my ass will fit whatever jeans I'm wearing. I mean, like, it conforms to the size it is forced into. Like, uh... Well, I don't want to make any kind of doughs or putty similes in relation to my own butt so let me just elaborate...

If I buy jeans that are nice and loose, then soon enough my rear has plumped to fill it up, and my "fat jeans" are just my jeans. And I am sad.

But if I buy jeans that are a size too small, my butt will shrink to fit. Like magic! Kind of. And, no, I will not test this theory by squeezing into size six jeans. I'm not crazy.

Last week I had a "plateau week" where I didn't lose any weight, so I bought a tight pair or jeans, and I've already lost a pound.

Screw diet and exercise, am I right?