Booty Theory

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Confession: I may or may not have some extra junk in my trunk. I'm working on it, okay? I've lost more than twenty pounds, and am thirteen pounds away from what Wii Fit says is my "ideal" weight. And I can run a mile without crying and praying for death. Sometimes.

So I have developed this theory. (Or, more accurately, a hypothesis, but I want to sound more credible so I'm going with theory.) Basically, this theory is that my ass will fit whatever jeans I'm wearing. I mean, like, it conforms to the size it is forced into. Like, uh... Well, I don't want to make any kind of doughs or putty similes in relation to my own butt so let me just elaborate...

If I buy jeans that are nice and loose, then soon enough my rear has plumped to fill it up, and my "fat jeans" are just my jeans. And I am sad.

But if I buy jeans that are a size too small, my butt will shrink to fit. Like magic! Kind of. And, no, I will not test this theory by squeezing into size six jeans. I'm not crazy.

Last week I had a "plateau week" where I didn't lose any weight, so I bought a tight pair or jeans, and I've already lost a pound.

Screw diet and exercise, am I right?


8 comments:

Hotcakes said...

AHHAHAHA! love the seats!! :) the girl on the pic must've been really surprised

Jessica said...

My butt just makes me have to go up sizes in pants. =(

Monda said...

At least you have one! My pants slide right off!

Sunny Sweet Pea said...

Congrats on losing the weight! I could do with shrinking my ass a bit too :) I love that pic :)

Plum said...

You're already too tiny, Jess.

And, Monda, you have a small butt and nice boobies. Rejoice!

Wesley said...

This weight loss isn't going to cause you to lose your boobs, right? That could lose money for me!

Plum said...

Boobs were the first thing to go. They're gone, buddy, all gone.

O.F.C.J. said...

Hello. LoL. Wow, what a "theory". And those chairs, I want them in my living room (once I have my own living rooms, lol.). I'm glad you're going for your "ideal" weight which I believe is according to height and frame,a nd not some silly number. Yay to smart people. Happy losing! And stay healthy ;)


O.F.C.J.

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