An Ode to the Little One

I haven't really talked about my family because... they're... uhh... Ugh. I mean not "ugh" but "uuughhhghjr..." which isn't bad, in case it sounds bad.

My father has reproduced four times. I come from his first [shotgun] wedding; he created another spawn twelve years later (though no one else found out until three years ago, surprise!), then he finally married under normal circumstances and, eleven years ago, created a couple of non-bastards. The youngest is my Boo Boo brother, who turned eight last weekend, and, being the only boy, is clearly Dad's favorite.

My brother, he is a nerd. He has a speech impediment from being mostly deaf, and wears those big wrap-around-the-ears hearing aids. He leaves class a few minutes early for lunch to go get his insulin shot, and a few months ago he got glasses.

Which he loves, and he says they make him look handsome. Because, in addition to being a nerd, my little brother is the awesomest.

My little brother beat Portal (which is among my top five favorite games, probably). My best friend could not beat level seven, yet my brother managed to beat the whole game. Sure, he looked up the later episodes on YouTube and, thusly, totally cheated, but I think that just doubles his awesome. If you run into this kid in Call of Duty he will gank you.

Sometimes even if you're on is team. Whoops.

He vlogs and makes tutorial videos for stuff I don't understand. He made a video tutorial for how to create your own dedicated server for... Counter Strike: Source, I think. What third grader does that?!

He's Rick Rolled me twice.

Instead of doing his homework today, he started a website.

And then he makes videos on "how to make a stomach butt." Because he's eight.

"I don't want to fart on my parents."