The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Date

Thursday, September 15, 2011

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Poncho and I love shabu shabu, which, if you don't know, is a type of Japanese hot pot restaurant. Basically, they give you a bunch of raw food and a pot of boiling water and you do everything yourself. Sound lame? Well, it is so very not lame, and, in fact, is fabulous.

There are lots of places like this popping up around Southern California. The first of its kind popped up in Little Tokyo, and is called Shabu Shabu House. The one we usually go to, our favorite, is called Shabu Shabu Bar. Last time we wanted to eat there, though, it was closed for the holiday, so we decided to try out California Shabu Shabu.

Yeah, the names aren't very creative. And, for the record, our favorite place is still Shabu Shabu Bar, though Shabu Shabu House has the most authentic atmosphere. California Shabu Shabu was okay, and Poncho liked it better than Shabu Shabu House, but... anyway, that's not what this is about!

So Poncho and I are sitting at the bar eating our food, and we've been together for over a decade, so a lot of our dinners are dominated by companionable silence, especially since we hadn't really been apart for more than an hour or so in several days. Words aren't needed, and I assure you it was a lovely date.

It also afforded us the opportunity to shamelessly eavesdrop.

So the couple to my left was clearly on a date. The way the female was caking on her makeup when I saw her in the bathroom had me guessing she really liked this guy, and their early conversation was very lively. I was just thinking how lovely it was to be on a date with these two when the guy said "I woke up thinking about you this morning." How sweet!

And then the girl responded with something about her boyfriend's uncle dying. Uhm, what?

The awkward silence that followed almost made me itch. After several minutes of silence, the guy asked, "So... what should we talk about now?" to which the girl replied, "Tell me about your girlfriend!"

He did not have much to say about his girlfriend, and changed the subject. She tried a couple more times to get her obviously trying to get in her pants date to talk about his girlfriend, but he deflected with super-smooth comments like "I think we were made for each other," leading her to do the playful push with a high-pitched, "You're in a relationship, silly!"

The best part, though, was when she called her boyfriend, said "I love you" four times, and made him give her "kissy" on the phone. And by "made" I mean she gave him "kissy," and then said "Now give me kissy. Give me a kiss! Yes, give me kissy! Give me kissy!" while her date just kind of poked around his bowl of rice.

So, yeah, moral of the story: If you go out to dinner with a guy you don't really know when you are both in relationships, so that you can... I don't know what her motivation was. Free dinner? (Yes, he paid.) Get attention? Whatever. Either way, that girl was a jerk and that guy was a jerk and the moral of the story is don't be a jerk or I listen in on your entire conversation for the explicit purpose of mocking you later.


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